Most of the time, this blog is a mix of travel itineraries, random updates, and whatever coding project I’m currently tinkering with, like my weather app or my calculator app. But today’s post is a bit heavier.
Claire and I are divorced. It’s hard to summarize the end of a marriage in a blog post, but transparency has always been important to me here.
The Timeline
The timeline of it all still feels a bit like whiplash. In February 2025, we were on a weeklong cruise together, and I was taking Claire scuba diving for the first time in Cozumel. By the week of our third anniversary in April, she dropped a bomb: she wanted to see other people.
I was completely distraught and blindsided. I immediately found us workbooks and a marriage counselor, determined to fix whatever was broken. Then, I was diagnosed with melanoma. Amidst that scare, Claire apologized for how she had treated me, promised we would be together forever, and got a job teaching third grade.
For a brief moment, I thought we had weathered the storm. But her words and actions quickly stopped aligning.
The Drift
Soon, she was spending up to 15 hours a week at the rock climbing gym, eating dinner alone at Chipotle, and only coming home at the very end of the night right before bed.
By September, she told me that the way she felt back in April hadn’t changed. We were growing apart. She moved into the guest bedroom in September. She moved out completely at the start of October. The paperwork was officially filed by mid-October.
And just like that, it was over.
The Cracks I Didn’t See
When people ask what happened, the truth is that the cracks were there, but I didn’t see them because I was so sure of us. I used to tell people, “I know Claire and I will be together forever.” I was all in. I had met her family, biked with her dad, and thought we were building a life together. I imagined we’d be at her nieces and nephews college graduations one day.
I think, ultimately, our life in the burbs, five minutes from Central Ave with me and a golden retriever, felt boring to her. She craved the youthful energy of her gym friends in their early twenties.
Communication Breakdown
During a walk with my dog, Mael, after the dust had settled, Claire admitted that she used to let things get under her skin but never spoke up about them.
That was incredibly tough to hear. I was the guy who kept a couples’ conversation pack in the glove compartment so we could talk deeply on road trips. We never lacked conversation, but a marriage takes more than just chatting.
If I’ve learned anything from this, it’s what I require in a partnership:
- Commitment to fix things: I have no issue with a dating relationship running its course, but when you make the vow to marry someone, I want a partner who respects that bond enough to fight for it.
- Open dialogue: I want someone who comes to me and says, “I’m worried about A, let’s try B and see if we can fix it together.”
Instead, Claire made that decision for the both of us, ending our six-year relationship.
The Museum of Our Relationship
Right now, I sometimes feel like I’m living in the museum of our relationship. I bought this house right before I met Claire, so almost every memory within these walls includes her.
She’s a gifted artist with access to incredible, subsidized art residencies all over the country. Honestly, I’d feel a lot better if she took this freedom to move somewhere vastly different and live a completely new life, rather than just moving a few minutes up the road.
Moving Forward
But as for me, I am moving forward.
Life looks vastly different than I thought it would a year ago. But the future is wide open, and I’m ready for it. Here is what is bringing me energy these days:
- Health: I’m hitting the gym four days a week for an hour.
- Creative Projects: My writing partner and I have raised about $400k for our screenplay, and we’re hoping to start filming in August.
- Socializing: I’m spending time at weekly firepits, hosting game nights, grabbing meals with my parents, and going to concerts. I went to Hulaween for the first time last October, and I’ve already got my ticket for this year.
- Travel: I’ve been traveling a ton. I recently went to Seville with Christine, hit up England to celebrate my step-dad’s 60th birthday and college reunion, and spent a week in Istanbul for a work meetup.
Looking ahead, I’m heading to D.C. to see my sister, planning a hike along Hadrian’s Wall in Summer 2027, and prepping for my 3-month sabbatical in January 2028.
Onward.
Leave a Reply